Monday, December 8, 2014

Countdown to Christmas: 17 Days Unraveling the Christmas Tree

We dragged our artificial tree from its eleven month hibernation yesterday and spent the majority of the day unraveling one strand of pre-lit twinkle lights because half the strand was out.

And no, it did not need a new fuse. My husband checked. Or maybe it DID just need a new fuse and I should have checked it.

Let me put it this way.

I asked him to find something I could use to pry the tiny fuses out of the plug. Instead, he went out to the shop to get his fancy multi-meter and upon "checking" the strand with his fancy multi-meter, he declared it dead. He NEVER did as I asked (to change  out the fuse) however, he did go on and on with his thesis about how a mulit-meter works, etc.

So, after painstakingly removing NOT only the strand of lights but the also  the entire row of lower limbs (because we did not have a strand of lights that matched plus the lower limbs are so low that they are a pain anyway) with a Dremel tool and unwrapping the next row seven limbs and rewrapping a remaining strand of lights of allow for the branch (yes, I said "branch" as in ONE branch) that had no lights...there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth!

I keep envisioning some eight year old Chinese girl tiny fingers clipping millions of those little green horseshoes to attach the strands of lights to the limbs.

Thank goodness for National Lampoon's "Christmas Vacation"!

We'll be the hap-hap-happiest bunch of assholes this side of the nut house!
One of our holiday traditions is to watch Clark "Sparky" Griswold demonstrate everything his father taught him about exterior illumination. It is one of those inspirational films that kicks of the Christmas season reminding us not to set out goals or expectation too high!